Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30? - NYTimes.com
- As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other, said Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. This is why so many people meet their lifelong friends in college, she added.
- External factors are not the only hurdle. After 30, people often experience internal shifts in how they approach friendship. Self-discovery gives way to self-knowledge, so you become pickier about whom you surround yourself with, said Marla Paul, the author of the 2004 book ?The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You?re Not a Kid Anymore.? ?The bar is higher than when we were younger and were willing to meet almost anyone for a margarita,? she said.
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